Modul 4: Idiom 06: Butter Someone Up

Butter Someone Up

Hi. Let’s take a look at the Idiom, ‘Butter Someone Up.’ What does this mean? When somebody butters somebody else up, they flatter  that person usually for their own gain. ‘Flatter’ means saying nice things about someone often because you want that person to do something for you. So, flattering is not always honest.

Let’s imagine you have a box of chocolates and I really want one. I might compliment the way you look so that you feel good and like me enough to offer me a chocolate.  I could say, “Oh, I love what you’ve done with your hair”, or “Your English is coming on really well!” With these compliments, I am buttering you up because I want something from you.

So what is the origin of this idiom?

This idiom comes from a religious custom from Ancient India. People would throw butter balls at statues of their gods in the hope that they would be blessed with good fortune (good luck) and find favour with the gods. 

Take a look at our illustration.

There is a man who is covered in butter. Can you see the butter dripping off his clothes? He is standing on a block of butter too which is being held up by a man who looks like he is in adoration of the buttered up man: Wow! You’re amazing!. The man who is smiling is buttering up the other man and the fact that he is holding the man above himself shows us how highly he is treating the buttered up man.

Here are some examples before we go to the concept questions…

“If I want that pay rise then I am going to have to butter up my boss.”

“Kelly, stop buttering me up and tell me what you want!”

“The boy didn’t do his homework so before telling his teacher, he buttered her up.”

“You are going to have to butter me up if you want me to drive you to the train station.”

“Tommy keeps buttering me up, I know he wants something but I don’t know what.”

Great.

Let’s look at some situations and check your understanding:

1. My little sister and I smashed our mum’s favourite vase. We have never really liked the vase but for some reason our mum really loves it. We need to tell our mum that we broke it but I think we should butter her up first. Should we start by saying, “Mum, you know that incredibly ugly vase that you should have thrown away years ago…”

No. If we want to butter her up then we need to compliment her and the vase before telling her that we broke it.

2. If your boss was deciding who to promote between you and your colleague, would it help you if you butter up your colleague?

No. You need to butter up your boss so that he offers you the job.

3. Imagine you are in a clothes store and the customer in front of you at the till is trying to return a jumper. The cashier has told her that she can’t have a refund (she can’t have the money back) but the customer is persistent – she doesn’t give up. You hear her call the cashier rude names and shout at her. Is she buttering the cashier up to get a refund?

No, she is being rude and that will not help her at all.

4. My grandma asked me what I wanted for Christmas the other day. Usually, I have a budget of £15 – that’s how much my grandma spends on me– so I have to think about that budget when I tell her what I want. She doesn’t have much money at all but it always makes her happy when she gets me something. This year, I have seen a really nice necklace but it is £30. Should I butter her up so she spends more money on my present, even though she doesn’t have much money?

No. It would be rude of me to trying and get more money from her. I should provide some of my money for the necklace too.

5. I said to my mum yesterday “Wow, you look really pretty.” She was wearing a new dress and had just come back from the hairdressers. Do you think she thought I was buttering her up?

Yes, she did but I wasn’t buttering her up. I was honestly complimenting the way she looked!

Great. Now go and practise. See you soon.